Conservative Views of the Condom Wars

There they go again, the “elite media,” as Newt Gingrich likes to call them, discussing everything except joblessness, soaring gas prices, spiraling food costs, a nuclear Iran, murderous Afghanistan, $16 trillion national debt — anything except those items that threaten our very existence as a nation.

Last week it was the $750,000 soccer field for the enjoyment of the Muslim terrorists in the Guantanamo Bay prison. This week it’s Sandra Fluke.

Sandra Fluke, and I am not making up her name, is a 30 year old law student at Georgetown University in Washington, DC. A rather slow learner, wouldn’t you say? Thrusting her into the nation’s spotlight, and making her a star performer in a hearing before the Congress of the United States of America, is her contention that the healthcare insurance made optionally available to students at Washington’s Georgetown University must include contraceptive services.

The University management, endowed by the Catholic Church, feels that such devices or services are contrary to Church teachings. Ms. Fluke’s position is that denying her such protection is an endangerment to her health because at her current rate of sexual activity if she had to purchase such protection on her own it would cost her $3,000 per year, which she says she cannot afford!

Well, let’s start at the beginning. The issue first burst onto the national scene with President Obama’s contention that all employers, including those that are faith based, must provide all employees with contraceptives at no additional cost. Radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh created an uproar by suggesting that the time-honored birth control method of holding a couple of aspirin between the knees might suffice. His solution was soundly rejected.

But then other methods came under consideration. It is determined that Ms. Fluke currently has more choices available to her than at any time in the history of mankind – er, uh, womankind; including birth control pills, patches, caps, rings, shots, diaphragms, abstinence, implants, spermicides (foam, jelly, cream, film), male condoms, female condoms, morning-after pills, Depo-Provera, IUDs, coitus interruptus, tubal ligation and, yes, even government sanctioned abortion. Ever hear of Roe vs Wade?

Why back in my day it seemed to be the responsibility of the male of the species to take the necessary precautions. As did most post-pubic highschoolers, we macho males even carried such precautions around in our wallets just in case we stumbled upon such a need. The condoms, known then by a less clinical but rather more descriptive term, remained in our wallets so long they made a circular imprint into the leather, and eventually succumbed to dry rot.

Back then they cost fifty cents for a pack of three, if you could get up the nerve to ask the druggist (male, of course) to get one out for you from its hiding place under the counter. It really wasn’t too expensive though, because one package could equip three of us for the much anticipated, but generally imaginary, emergency. But I digress.

conservative policies contraceptivesHaving no recent experience, I went on line to Wal-Mart, and found I could purchase a package of 36 Trojan Magnum (large size, naturally) condoms for only $9.94. That calculates to $0.276 each, plus S & H! More than we used to pay, but one more reason why we don’t want to get into a trade war with China!

So let’s calculate a little further. If Ms. Fluke says protection for her current level of activity would cost her $3,000 per year, at 28 cents a pop, that would be sufficient to provide for 1,071 trysts per year. No wonder it’s taking her so long to finish law school!

Or if Ms. Fluke believed that an ounce of prevention was worth it, some enterprising soul has searched a Washington area Target store and found that the birth control pill Tri-Cyclen costs only $9 per month, with unlimited benefits!

Caught up in the fray, Rush Limbaugh referred to, and later apologized to, Ms. Fluke for referring to her in terms generally used to describe those ladies who wish others to pay for their sexual pleasures. And the President? Well, he called to apologize too, but I am not sure just what for.

Habit, I guess.

From my conservative views.



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1 comment for “Conservative Views of the Condom Wars

  1. Pingback: DH Holman

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